Beer and Champagne

He held the champagne flute in his hand.  What he’d give for a cold Castle and the Bulls were taking the Crusaders on at Lofters. And here he was, trying to look happy. Women needed to learn that organizing parties when big games were taking place just wasn’t on.

‘But that’s when we met!’ Was her excuse.  She was chatting to her friends and he was stuck clutching a tiny glass.  He looked around.  Andrew was hitting on anything with a skirt, he was setting up a score. Peter sighed.  His frolicking days were over.  Elaine moved up to him.  She was hot.  And she was smiling that smile of hers.

‘How’s the champagne?’ She asked.

Peter rolled his eyes, ‘you could have bought a case of Castle, it wouldn’t have killed you!’

Elaine laughed, ‘you know your ragtag friends would have gone through it by now.’

‘I would have hidden my six,’ Peter moaned.

Elaine was laughing at him. She slapped his arm, ‘Dad wants to toast. Are you ready?’

Peter looked around for Andrew, ‘where is he?’

‘I asked you to ask someone else. I knew he’d do this!’

‘He is my best friend,’ Peter said, ‘you know that!’

‘Where is this best friend of yours?’ She was getting hysterical.

Peter didn’t want to think what Drew would be doing with the girl he’d disappeared with. She was most probably a nice unsuspecting female.

He shrugged.

‘Shit! This is our engagement party, Peter! He is the last person to wish us well!’

People felt the blood roaring to his head, ‘why wouldn’t he wish me well, Elaine?’

She looked away from him, ‘just bloody find him!’

Where would Drew take a girl who he was trying to sleep with, with no attachments? Peter watched Elaine stomp off and took out his cellphone and dialed his friend.  This was much easier than trying to ferret out his friend out of secret corners.   Maybe he knew the score to the game.  Drew had called him crazy for wanting to get married, obviously he would not be walking down the aisle anytime soon.

‘Dude, Elaine is getting ready to castrate me. Where are you?’

‘I’ll be there in five minutes,’

‘What’s the score?’

‘Bulls up, twenty-two seven,’ Drew said, ‘and I’m past first base.’

Peter laughed and hung up. He needed to report back to Elaine.

‘Where is he?’

‘He’ll be here in five minutes,’

‘Dad is getting impatient! Really, Peter, he is a guest-’

‘He is my friend!’

She turned her back to him.

‘He’ll be here in five minutes, the game is almost over.’

She swung back round to face him.

‘I’m waiting around for some stupid rugby game to end! How inconsiderate you are. How dare you treat our guests like this?’

Peter sighed.

‘This is our engagement party, Peter! And he is tarnishing it!’

Peter rolled his eyes, ‘calm down.’

She put her hand up to her brow, ‘calm down? Calm down? I asked you not to ask him to make the toast. I knew he’d do this!’

‘You didn’t want him to make the toast because everyone here knows that you slept with him!’ Peter snapped. ‘And yet I’m the idiot who’s marrying you!’

He didn’t see her hand come up, but he felt the sting on his cheek and heard the crack.  The music played on but the room fell silent. He looked at her and saw the tears in her eyes.

‘I see that all is ready for my toast!’ Drew strolled him with a blonde on his arm, oblivious to the tension. He grabbed a flute, ‘Mr DJ turn the music down. To my best friend, may you have a happy marriage. Better you than me!’

Elaine gasped and ran out of the room.

‘Tears of joy, I’m sure,’ Drew laughed.

Peter looked uncomfortable. He wanted to go after her. But yet he didn’t. He looked at Drew and shook his head.

‘Shit!’ Drew said.

Indeed, Peter thought.  He looked at Elaine’s parents. He needed to go after her, but he knew she’d take hours to calm down.

She hadn’t meant to slap him. All she’d wanted was to make the bloody party a success but Peter had an obscene obsession with Andrew. She’d prayed Andrew would be overseas this weekend, but he’d rearranged his diary and taken leave just to be there and she couldn’t avoid it.  She couldn’t avoid him.  Why her?

The door opened behind. She looked over her shoulder. Peter. Peter would come, he always did. Why would she think Andrew would apologize, Andrew never ran after anyone. Everyone worshipped the ground he walked on…including Peter.

‘Hey,’ he said.

She looked away from him. It hurt too much.

Peter placed his hands on her shoulders, she shrugged him off.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’

She moved away from him. She wouldn’t be shamed into an apology. Damn him!

‘Elaine,’ he said, in the calm Peter way. The Peter way that could crack ice or break a wall. So calm, so steady. ‘Drew has been my friend since primary school. He is a brother to me, I can’t cut him out of my life.’

‘Then stop throwing the fact that I had a relationship with him in my face!’ Elaine said.

‘I’m sorry,’ Peter said, spreading his arms. ‘I just don’t know why you are so eager to write him off.’

She could feel the tears coming. This was a shit party!

Peter placed his hands on her shoulder and turned her around and buried her face into his chest. She couldn’t stay mad at him and he knew it.

‘Let’s go home, hmm?’ He said over her head.

‘The party,’ she mumbled into his chest. ‘My parents won’t be-‘

‘I’ll phone them,’ He said. ‘They’ll take care of things with my mom.’

She nodded. She didn’t want to stay. She just wanted to lie next to her fiancé and pretend that she hadn’t slapped him in public. 

‘Stay here, I’ll get your things.’

He hated seeing Peter being duped by women, but Elaine had taken the prize!  Stupid bitch! God, Peter was above her and her psychotic tantrums. She had slapped him in public, now that had to be the cherry on top! But no, Peter had run like a dick-less puppy to her.

When she’d run off to Peter after he’d dumped her, he was sure Peter would see through her but had his friend been like most blokes and taken what was freely given and rejected the rest? Hell no! He had proposed. Proposed to that psycho bitch! Now he’d be forced to suffer her company for heaven knew how long their marriage would last. If he was lucky this engagement wouldn’t make it that far. Elaine knew how to get back a fellow. Jump into bed with his best friend and be a victim until said friend proposes!

Peter’s mom was frantic.  The shrew was going to be a permanent part of her family and she might give birth to other shrew children. Damn, if he was Peter he would insist on paternity tests. A woman who could sleep with your best friend wasn’t to be trusted…ever!

This party was a blow-out. Elaine didn’t have hot friends, too insecure to be outdone.  And the mostly average ones she had, well, not to his tastes. He needed to leave, he just needed word that the couple were ending their engagement and he could go out and celebrate.

Elaine’s father was tapping a spoon against his champagne flute. Champagne! Peter hated the stuff and he was most probably paying for all the Cliqot going around like JC Le Roux. His friend needed to grow some balls!

‘The couple have taken their leave,’ Elaine’s father was saying, ‘Elaine isn’t feeling well.’

More like Peter was willing to grovel, but not in public. Drew bee-lined for Peter’s mom and kissed her good-bye. A good solid beer, in honour of what was once his friend’s manhood, was in order.  He’d drink something local for a change, just for the Peter he once knew.

One For The Road

She looked up at the clear blue sky. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He was standing next to her. It always struck her how people changed with time yet somehow didn’t change at all. The golden sand was soft and warm under bare feet and she smiled.

‘What are you smiling about?’ He asked her, taking her hand in his.

‘I was remembering the little holiday we had just after varsity. We packed our bags into your car and dove to Durban.’

He smiled down at her, ‘those were the days. Before the bills and the job.’

Yeah.’

They walked a little while longer. It was a still day, the ocean was clam and the only sound to be heard was of a few seagulls in the distance. He was telling her about his life on the whole. The five years she’d missed out on, tactfully leaving out ex-girlfriends.

‘You’ve grown up a lot,’ he said into the stillness.

She stopped walking and looked up at him, ‘what does that mean?’

‘I mean,’ he responded squeezing her hand, ‘you were always so…what’s the word?’

She looked at him waiting, her heart was starting to pound and her body temperature was rising.

‘Insecure,’ he concluded. ‘Changing dresses ten times before stepping out of the house. Asking a litany of questions…’

‘How is asking questions indicative of insecurity?’

‘Well, you either know something or you don’t,’ he told her, ‘and well no one should know everything.’

‘So you believe ignorance is bliss?’ She asked, getting angry.

‘The thing is we already the know the answer to what we ask,’

‘So if I had asked if you had a girlfriend or a wife, I would know the answer even if I haven’t seen you in five years.’

‘Geez, woman, chill!’

‘Chill?’ she asked, ‘what’s this all about?’

He released her hand, ‘it could have been about anything.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Listen,’ he said coolly to her, ‘I have to get back.’

Endings And Beginnings

The old brown brick building not unlike many buildings built for functionality and not be aesthetically pleasing. It was a  hated building, more so on that hot and dry day.

The street was crowded, and pedestrians pushed about and snapped at those blocking their path, everyone was in too much a hurry to stop.

The street, as crowded as it was, was still a lonely place to be. There were better, happier places to be for people who still lived.  

The windows of the building needed a good cleaning. The sunlight dulled them. The litter on the steps to the entrance of the building needed to be cleared, yet, no one seemed concerned. People walked in and out of the building. Some happy. Some depressed. Some just looked like they had done what they needed to do. This walls in this building had seen it all and heard it all. It was a place which marked beginnings, middles and ends.

***

Paul looked the old brown building. His palms were sweaty from the heat of a beautiful summer’s day.  To Paul the old brown bricks signified something beautiful at each milestone of his life. When he’d come of age. When he’d gotten his licence to travel the world. And now it signified when he would finally belong to a solid partnership. The sun multiplied a hundred times on the building’s windows. People stood on the steps and he noticed each smile on each face. He would never be alone again. And in that crowded street he could hear the laughter of children, the excited chatter of friends.

Paul ignored the vulgar pedestrians who were rushing to do other things. For Paul, there could be nothing better than marking the beginning of a new chapter. A dream come true. There was no where else he wanted to be.  

He laughed, he had never felt better as he began his ascent to the building to mark another great moment in his life.

For The Love Of E-reading

I never thought I would live to see the day the day that I would be able to buy and read five hundred page books that weigh no more than my finger. Nor did I ever imagine that I would be able to carry twenty novels in my handbag.

I was one of those sceptics who swore with every breath in body that I could never read from a screen and bear turning pages with a press of a button and in the case of my iPod touch, a tap on the screen.

This is not a piece is not about flossing about my many gadgets, but it is more about how my view has changed on e-books.

Every avid reader who has a Kindle will tell you that one) you have never bought so many books in your life. Of course this is after your initial reservations but after the first book it’s almost as if you cannot help but buy more and more books even at four in the morning.

Two) You’ve never bought books at such a low price. Like for real! The most I’ve paid for a book delivered via Kobo is R72! And this was for a newly released book.

And of course we all think these gadgets cost way too much! Take into account that for brand new books you could be saving R130 per book, and for the more commercial books you are definitely saving at least R50.  After ten commercial books, you’ve saved R500 and all those classics like War and Peace and Ulysses that you’ve been meaning to read but have not had the will to buy? They are most probably free!

You can make notes on your Kindle, and your Kobo app on the iPad or the iPod. So if you are into the self-help genre or cannot read without taking notes, then voila!

Of course with certain gadgets you use them for other things as well. I use my iPod for listening to audio books at the gym (always those books that seem to be hard to get through when reading on text) and of course my music, which I cannot live without! Many people use their gadgets for email and to work on documents and such, like your iPads and your Galaxy Tabs.

But back to the Kindle. The New York times at a click of a button, delivered to you fresh off the press. What? Who wouldn’t fall in love? And you think you’ll miss the smell of paper? Hmmm…

This is not to say that I no longer buy printed books. I still do, but the price difference throws me off. Another reason I am still buying paper books is that I am forced to by book publishers who don’t publish all their books on e-format. If you are a fan on series books, this does become a pain when the first four books are in e-format and the fifth book is not available on Kindle!

I would advise every reader to get a gadget. Whether you read a hundred books a year or just one. Whether you want to get subscriptions to international newspapers or magazines or none at all. It’s user friendly and you will never have to worry about shelf space or fighting with your spouse over old papers again!

Note: I know someone who is selling their well kept and almost new Kindle 2^nd Generation for R 1 250 (including delivery in South Africa) less than half the price on Amazon. If you are interested or hoping to negotiate, can’t promise, email me: Simyn13@gmail.com

Happy reading!