Regret Is A Sign Of A Life Well Lived

The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we have no regrets. About anything. And if we could do it all again, we wouldn’t change anything.

I suppose if you are in your teens, you haven’t lived much, this sentiment is honest. Yes, I know a lot of teenagers go through stuff that I never will and have had a lot more life than I. But can you really have no regrets? No “if I knew better than I would have done better” moments?

Yes, I have regrets. A lot of them related to people I put in my life that I shouldn’t have. Some to do with choices I made that weren’t the best thing for me. And a few to do with how I’ve treated people.

I suppose what regret is, is that choice you make that isn’t the best thing for anyone and you are either ignorant of the possible repercussions or in that moment, you just didn’t care. Or maybe that choice you made that you felt was the only choice you could make and wished it weren’t after you’d made it.

I’m big on choices and I suppose when people tell me that they have no regrets the thought that enters my mind is that this person in all their life they have never had a difficult decision to make that led to losing a friend, or even a tiny little bit of their innocence. 

I suppose the reason why I dislike memoirs and autobiographies is that the life you’ve lived is often dulled by the story teller explaining away all their bad decisions. Very few writers of these works ever admit to making bad decisions. Or admit that they would rather change a certain chapter in their life so that it didn’t happen at all.

We make decisions on a daily basis. We are good a lot of the time. Bad sometimes. We make right decisions frequently, and the occasional bad decision. We are not perfect, and yes we might get to a point in our lives where we don’t need to justify or explain ourselves. But I suppose we all look for exoneration and redemption from our bad doings by claiming ignorance or the fact that a certain decision was necessary.

Maybe it is too much to hope for that the next time someone tells their life story they’ll include the backstabbing of family and friends. The lies they felt compelled to tell. And yes, the stolen ideas.

I just think that regret is the biggest sign that you are apologetic. That you still have a seed of empathy. And that as successful as you are, you acknowledge that you are merely a human being who has lived a lot of life and have rarely ever backed down from making the hard decisions that got you where you are.