The Power of No

Women are natural lovers. They give without being asked, soothe when things aren't right and often afraid to displease. They need to touch and be touched. They want to matter. 

This need to please that women have often leaves many women incapable of refusing themselves and others. 

It is almost as if saying "no" makes us feel a little less capable. Just when I thought that the peer pressure stage was over, I was proven wrong. I often watch older women around me getting into more debt not because they are spending money on stuff they want but because of pressure from their children, husbands or boyfriends or neighbours. 

We've been led to believe for centuries that we have to be dominated by men and never to ask questions. Women often think that doing stuff that they necessarily don't want to do just because the next person expects it will make them more acceptable. 

Girls learn from their watching their mothers bend to pressure. I've seen instances where women I work with say that they will not buy X and then a bunch of people around them buy that exact thing that they don't want to buy and for some reason they end up buying it and justifying why they bought it. A week later these very same women then regret this decision. 

If you don't want to do something say no, no one is going to kill you. Sure, they'll call you difficult but who the hell cares? You don't want to be tossing and turning for weeks because you did something that you know is wrong for you.

The incapability of saying no is you telling everyone around you that you believe yourself powerless, worthless and most of all that you don't matter. 

It's okay to do stuff because you want to, or to give because you want to, or to buy because you want to. But don't do stuff because you are pushed into a corner by a bully. Ask if you want clarity, hell ask a million questions if you have to and if the answers you get after all that still don't satisfy you...

Stick to your "no" it is your right.